Holiday Gift Guide 2013: Gifts for that Special Angry Singlespeeder in Your Life

Holiday Gift Guide

Photo by www.liamdoranphotography.com

Got an angry singlespeeder in your life? If so, chances are they’ve been naughty this year. But even naughty singlespeeders need to be shown love and affection for their masochistic efforts. It’s hard work being a disgruntled, aggro, anti-establishment cheapskate with tattoos and a bike with no shifters. So reward the angry and naughty singlespeeders in your life with these five unique gifts that will surely make them smile through their gnarled, gritty teeth.

Ahearne Cycles Spaceman Flask and Holder

Singlespeeders abide by the old Mark Twain quip “Whiskey is for drinkin’. Water is for fightin’ over.” When it comes to hydration on the trail, no singlespeed ride is complete without a little bourbon on the tongue. And there’s no better way to transport your finely distilled spirits than in a stainless flask and a custom flask holster that bolts in place of a water bottle cage.

In addition to making beautifully crafted custom bikes, Ahearne Cycles of Portland, Oregon also dabbles in custom accessories like engraved flasks and flask holsters. Available in either six-ounce or big gulp eight-ounce sizes, either flask can be custom engraved with a JPEG or PDF image that you supply.

A standard six-ounce flask and holster starts at $60 and works upward from there. NOTE: For Christmas delivery, custom flasks must be ordered by no later than November 25. NOTE AGAIN: Always drink responsibly. Duh.

MSRP: $60
More Info: www.ahearnecycles.com

BEER Components Eccentric Bottom Bracket

Friends don’t let friends ride chain-tensioned singlespeeds. To eliminate unnecessary dangly bits for improved simplicity and aesthetics, get your beloved singlespeeder an eccentric bottom bracket like the BEER Components EBB; the original EBB for BB30 and PF30 frames.

For the BEER EBB to work you’ll have to follow some directions – definitely not an angry singlespeeder’s strong suit. So to avoid suffering a barrage of vociferous f-bombs, make sure the frame in question has an inner diameter of 42mm (BB30) or 46mm (PF30). BB30 versions can only fit cranks with a 24mm spindle while the PF30 version works with both 24mm and 30mm spindle cranks. Both BEER EBBs fit either 68mm or 73mm wide shells. Confused? Then maybe you should stick to the flask.

MSRP: $160
More Info: beercomponents.com

White Industries ENO Cranks

For those singlespeeders who long for the days of old, square taper bottom brackets and cranks, then there may be no finer piece of singlespeed jewelry than a pair of White Brothers ENO cranks. Designed specifically for the crushing abuse of singlespeeding, the ENO cranks feature a stout box design that withstands incredible amounts of brute force and ignorance.

A splined one-piece chainring interface looks stunning and is available in sizes ranging between 30t and 48t. Four crank lengths are available (165, 170, 175, 180mm) and can be ordered in polished silver or black anodized.

MSRP: $230 crankset. $52+ chainring
More Info: www.whiteind.com

Endless Anodized Kick Ass Cogs

If your angry singlespeeder lusts over anodized bling, then get him an Anodized Kick Ass Cog from EndlessBikeCo. With more colors than a pack of Skittles, Endless Anodized Cogs color up every singlespeed rig with style. As a patriotic bonus, Kick Ass Cogs are made from scratch in North Carolina.

Made from 7075-T6 alloy measuring a full quarter-inch wide at the splines, Kick Ass Cogs are strong and do not gnarl up freehub bodies. They’re also finely machined for a smooth and quiet drivetrain that improves both cog and chain life. Kick Ass Cogs are available in 11 sizes ranging from 14t to 25t. For even more ano bling, order an Endless spacer kit available in nine different colors.

MSRP: $50 cog. $43 spacer kit
More Info: www.endlessbikes.com

TomiCOG Disc Rotor Fixie Cog

If singlespeed mountain bikers are crazy, then fixed gear mountain bikers are certifiably insane. For that angry singlespeeder who seems to have everything, the only gift left to get them is a TomiCOG; a six-bolt cog that replaces the rear disc brake rotor for a flip-flop rear fixie wheel.

Laser cut from Type 304 stainless steel with ½” pitch, the TomiCOG is designed to run with an eight-speed chain. The TomiCOG is available in 16t, 17t, 18t, 19t and 20t sizes. Before ordering a TomiCOG, realize that without a rim-braking surface, your legs are the source of rear wheel braking, AKA skidding. Also, a TomiCOG does not work with frames that use a chain-tensioning device.

MSRP: $30
More Info: tomicog.blogspot.com

2013 Mtbr Holiday Gift Guides:

Digital Cameras For Cyclists »
For The Beginner Mountain Biker »
For The Tech Geek Rider »
Gifts for that Special Angry Singlespeeder in Your Life »
Mtbr’s All-Mountain Brown Friday »
POV Video Cameras and Electronics »
Stocking Stuffers for Mountain »

2013 RoadBikeReview Holiday Gift Guides:

Cold Weather Warrior »
Cyclocross Fanatic »
Digital Cameras For Cyclists »
For The Cyclist Who Has (Almost) Everything »
Gear For The Endurance Junkie »
Gear For the Gravel Grinder »
Great Gear For Under $50 »
Presents for the Urban Jungle »
Repurposed Gifts for the Green Cyclist »
The Newbie Road Rider »
Type A Crit Racer »
When Money Is No Object »

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About the author: Kurt Gensheimer

Kurt Gensheimer thinks the bicycle is man’s most perfect invention. He firmly believes ‘singlespeed’ is a compound word. He sometimes wears a disco ball helmet. He is also known as Genshammer. He is a Gemini and sleeps outside in a hammock.


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  • Evan says:

    Endless cogs are sooooo nice.

  • John says:

    That is a great gift list indeed, unless of course your ASS is new to the sport. You don’t want him (or her) too have much cool stuff too soon, it could lead to bad habits. So here is the “new to the sport” ASS gift list:
    1. A pair of neon green “day glo” running shorts. You need a very painful butt for at least one season to be considered a real ASS.
    2. Tank top. A lot of sun exposure to the skin for proper vitamin D levels. Sun burn? Deal with it.
    3. Platform pedals. The kind with spikes that dig in to your shin when your Converse high tops slip off the pedal.
    4. Moustache trimmer
    5. A 24 inch wheelset.
    Trust me, this stuff will make him a better rider in the long run.
    Merry Xmas.

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