The Angry Singlespeeder: Foaming at the mouth about CrossVegas

A beer hand-up is one thing, a beer facial is something completely different

Opinion

Nash

Photo by Meg McMahon/megmcmahon.com

The images coming from last week’s CrossVegas event displayed a who’s who in the world of professional cyclocross racing. To have European icons like Sven Nys and Lars Van der Haar in attendance is an indication that CrossVegas has truly arrived as a world-class cyclocross event.

So if CrossVegas is a world-class cyclocross event, why is it then that on the very same night I saw an image of Team Luna Chix rider Katerina Nash getting sprayed in the face with a filthy PBR by some classless spectating douchebags? After the event, Katerina was incredibly cool about the whole thing and even had a smile on her face when asked about getting sprayed with beer. I’m not sure if she was sincere about it or just deflecting the controversy, but either way, she handled the situation far better than I would have.

The adolescent beer spray party continued into the men’s race and became such an issue that Van Der Haar was quoted afterward as saying “If they keep throwing beer, I’m not coming back. That’s not cycling, that’s not cyclocross, so please stop doing that.”

“At least have the common decency to spray a beer of some remote quality in my face. A PBR hardly even qualifies as refrigerated monkey piss.”

I’m all for having a good time on the race course and have been known to take more than a couple beer hand-ups, but having that beer sprayed in my face is where I draw the line. How come it’s unacceptable in most social situations to spray beer in another person’s face, but suddenly when they don Lycra and race around in a circle on a bike as hard as they can it becomes justifiable?

Whiskey Handup

Photo by A.E. Landes Photography/www.aelandesphotography.com

On the bike or not, if some schmucktard sprayed a beer in my face, we’d be having some choice words right then and there on the race course. At least have the common decency to spray a beer of some remote quality in my face. A PBR hardly even qualifies as refrigerated monkey piss.

Bacon HandupIt seems to me that there’s been a recent trend surrounding the concept of forced fun and the belief that racing is for losers. I got a healthy dose of it earlier this year at Singlespeed Worlds in Anchorage, and this latest act of douchebaggery further proves to me how selfish and inconsiderate people can be.

Want to offer me a beer, whiskey, bacon, pizza or some other kind of hand-up? Cool. I might take it. I might not. It depends on how close to vomiting I am at that particular moment. Want to heckle me, call me a pussy and say pedal harder? Sure. No problem. It’s good motivation. Besides, they’re only words. But taking the liberty to just spray some refrigerated monkey piss in my face crosses the line. It’s unacceptable no matter how cool you may look in front of your halfwit friends.

Your version of fun may be different than someone else’s, and that is what’s so great about events like CrossVegas; both versions can exist. But as soon as you force your version of fun on someone else – or spray it in their face – suddenly the universal fun stops and people get angry.

I don’t know where this kind of behavior comes from, but I’m sure it has something to do with today’s entitlement culture. This is especially prevalent here in the United States where certain individuals believe they have the right to do what they want because their mommy and daddy always told them that they’re special and that everyone’s a winner; which is probably what has given birth to the whole “racing is for losers” phenomenon.

Well here’s some news, chief. You’re not special. And if you think racing is for losers, then don’t show up to a race and heckle people for getting out there and toeing the line. Go get plastered in the woods with all your entitled anti-race blockheads and spray beer on each other. Nobody wants you at an event like CrossVegas anyway.

Pzza Handup

Photo by A.E. Landes Photography/www.aelandesphotography.com

Whether you’re an event organizer, participant or spectator, there is a code of conduct that should always be followed and respected. For organizers, it’s about providing a venue where everyone can have a good time in their own way, for participants its about acting with sportsmanship toward your fellow competitors and for spectators its about enjoying the show without getting in the way of those who are performing.

I don’t know why these concepts are so hard for some people to grasp. As much as I like to compete, I also go through phases where I don’t want to race or be competitive. All I want to do is just enjoy riding and exploring. But I’m not going to badmouth, heckle or toy with someone who is hell bent to get out there and race. And I’m sure as hell not going to spray refrigerated monkey piss in their face.

Editor’s Note: The Angry Singlespeeder is a collection of mercurial musings from contributing editor Kurt Gensheimer. In no way do his maniacal diatribes about all things bike oriented represent the opinions of Mtbr, RoadBikeReview, or any of their employees, contractors, janitorial staff, family members, household pets, or any other creature, living or dead. You can submit questions or comments to Kurt at singlespeeder@consumerreview.com. And make sure to check out Kurt’s previous columns.

Photo Thumbnails (click to enlarge)

About the author: Kurt Gensheimer

Kurt Gensheimer thinks the bicycle is man’s most perfect invention. He firmly believes ‘singlespeed’ is a compound word. He sometimes wears a disco ball helmet. He is also known as Genshammer. He is a Gemini and sleeps outside in a hammock.


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  • Hotep says:

    Now if we could only get John Watson to admit he had a part in the douche-baggery.
    http://cyclocosm.com/2014/09/because-john-watson-wants-an-apology/

  • Aaron W says:

    Our squad is planting enforcers around the field. Go ahead and try something.

  • Jason says:

    So in EVERY OTHER RACE IN RECORDED HISTORY, the winners spray champagne on each other and get sprayed by spectators… and yet you whine when someone opens a refreshing (and cooling!) beverage a little too close to you DURING A CELEBRATION???

    No wonder everyone makes fun of cyclocross. I hope everyone everywhere quits racing CX so that we don’t have to hear babies crying anymore.

  • trailsnail says:

    I have to disagree with getting rid of the ANGRY. We escape to our bikes for many reasons, all of which are OK .

  • Black out the windows says:

    No shortage of beer throwing fools in Europe, either. However, Sven may just stop and say something about it:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxgEF-t44gc

  • andy says:

    I agree with you again, Angry SS. Now, back to dealing with the e-bike trouble, as it is fairly easy to avoid people racing in circles. But on the trails?

    Would it be ok to spray beer on an e-bike racer?

    Wait, would these entitled kids be racing e-bikes? Makes sense, as it wouldn’t take any effort.

    “Mommy and daddy gave me this bike…I need more battery,” in an appropriate whiny-voice.

  • Shawn says:

    OK, so the topic of this article is pretty much low-hanging fruit; I don’t think it is much of a controversial opinion that assaulting people with beer or anything else in any context is stupid and unwarranted. And I can see why one would be angry about it. But then there came this bit of ‘wisdom’ from the ASS:

    ‘I don’t know where this kind behavior comes from, but I’m sure it has something to do with today’s entitlement culture. This is especially prevalent here in the United States where certain individuals believe they have the right to do what they want because their mommy and daddy always told them that they’re special and that everyone’s a winner; which is probably what has given birth to the whole “racing is for losers” phenomenon.’

    So, ‘entitlement culture’ that is ‘prevalent’ in the United States? First, as someone who has children, and is around other people who have children, I don’t see any entitlement culture. Certainly this is not how I raise my children, and not how I see my friends raising their children. I know there are certain conservative ‘journalists’ talking about ‘entitlement culture’ in the news, but where’s the reality? Believe me, I’m no fan of ‘every kid gets a medal’, but I don’t think the fact that little Suzy gets a medal for partipating at the ‘Little Gym’ is going to make her think ‘racing is for losers’. There always has been and always will be people that think they are better than everyone else, for whatever reason. But this idea that ‘everyone feels entitled now’, is just so dumb and media-hyped. Are you telling me that before the advent of this ‘entitlement culture’, that there were never any a-holes in the world, especially where alcohol is involved? And, why do you say ‘I don’t know where this comes from’ and then follow up by ‘I’m sure it’s because of’? So you are saying you do know or you don’t know? Because you pretty much just contradicted yourself in consecutive sentences.

    The problem with this kind of thought is that you just paint a entire group of people with one stroke and then assign blame to them w/out one shred of research or proof that the BS you’re spewing has any merit. ‘All parents today all coddle there kids so now all these kids are a-holes spraying beer on me at CrossVegas.’ One, you don’t know what most parents in this country do to raise their children, two, you don’t have any expertise parenting techniques or sociology, and three, you have know idea of the upbringing of the offenders to begin with.

    So way to yet again prove what a mental midget you are. Bravo.

  • Dan says:

    At least they opened the can before they threw the beer.

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